Monday, January 28, 2008

the art of Story↕Telling. (e.1, part 2 of 2.)

0 Commentaries/Bashings
i was glad to be back in the fucking house, i tell ya: all the walking, all the lugging around, all the sweating; but, for my troubles, i got to save $3.50, and i was able to get some exercise, to boot.


i had a mission i [need]ed to accomplish, and was determined to git'r done™ as soon as possible.


i'm sure that The Woman had been trying her best when crafting This, these past few years but, no, her best has just simply not been good enough; it's sorta like, as time went on, Mother lost some of her heart for cooking [properly], if it's not to be for a Special Occasion.


all i've been wanting was a decent-damn Home↕Made Soup to nosh on: a soup that holds up no matter how many subsequent-times it gets reheated..
..a soup that tastes like someone gave A Fuck in making it, the first time.


yep.


if i want something done right, i'd obviously have to .. do It myself.

_\↕/_ _\↕/_

the fun thing is, i don't cook.


basically.


over the last 9 or so years, it's been canned-goods, frozen-goods, take-out. . .and cereals, if/when Mother didn't feel like throwing anything together for the four of us.


?


but now it was time for me to draw upon my memories. (eventually i will have to cook more things from scratch, so, i needed to see just how good my latent ability was ─ ´how much i have picked up, and retained, from previous Observings.)


[[ (ox/hare/dragon/dragon/bird/rat/bird/rooster/hare/dog/dragon/
horse/boar/tiger/rat) **Ninpou**: Let's Get It On-no jutsu!! ]]


with That, i would start getting set-up: for making a chunky-disposition soup, i'd chop up the carrots and celery into reasonable-sized pieces.. ..and, as was luckily-consistent with my objective, i would employ the fewest-slices possible across the onion to minimize my contact with It, to prevent The Funk from getting lodged under my nails, and what↕not:


  • ´rinse ´em,


  • ´throw ´em into The Big Pot filled with water,


  • ´throw The Basic Seasonings in there...


  • ...and discover that we didn't have no fuckin' Chicken Bouillon-cubes around, as i had originally presumed, after all.

/sigh


i had a feeling i shoulda picked some up while i was still at the store but, ´ch'know, That Occurance merely served me right for trying to be Optimistic for once in my life.

_\↕/_ _\↕/_

´hoping that, maybe, the chicken meat(♫-1), its self, would eventually lend enough flavour to generate a decent-tasting broth(♫-2), i just went on ahead and put That in there, to get things rolling; after a while, i was able to see that, no, That Strategy wasn't going to cut it: i needed those fucking Cubes.


´long story, shortened: about halfway through, i finally got my mom to drive me down to the store that was 9-blocks(♫-3) away ─ she certainly made me wait for It, indeed she did: apparently she was so into her "Little Activity" in which she was engaged at the time that she even told me that instead of having us go out to store that was just a few minutes' drive away for the cubes that i should just settle for employing Corn↕Starch.


which would have defeated the entire point of me making The Soup in the first place, if you bear in mind Corn↕Starch is not a flavouring- but a thickening-agent.


?


(plus, almost all ingredients i was using were bought by me; on top of That, she should've figured, well, as long as i won't have to cook anything for The Boys for a couple of nights, i should just go on and spend the few minutes helping this muther↕fucker get his shit....)


i was serious when i told her i was gonna be in-and-out of the store as quickly as possible, it took me less than 5-minutes to complete my transaction: expedited thanks to the Self-Checkout Line; an over↕all total of 11-minutes was spent, coming & going.


~↕↕~


so.. ..the next thing i needed to tackle was Noodles.


it's been over 16-fucking_years, unbelievably, since i've last had linguine-chicken soup: made by Pop Pop, just once(♫-4).
it was as good as fuck, i tell ya...
...and i wanted to recreate That for us to enjoy, if not at least one more time.


(i actually tried to get my mom to make That, once, some years back, but..
..i guess her imagination was just too limited to want to take me up on the challenge.)


maybe now you're able to bear winess, a glimpse of at least a bit of the signifigance This Mission has for me; i decided to use Fettucine for this particular go-around.


in the spirit of continuing to avoid those fatalities that has doomed most of Mother's Soups, i had already decided not to boil the pasta with the broth(♫-5); to get a hopefully_better-tasting product, i would need to trade washing out two-additional pots after i was through with them: 1.98 lbs., total, of fettucine was getting used for this production.

*phew.*





meanwhile, the broth, its self, was tasting pretty nice, and was exhibiting the consistency i had desired:


A Watery One.


~↕↕~

...jumping ahead, a bit more, my little bros actually ate everything that i put in their bowls: i have not known for them to like vegetables, but, i guess for me. . . . .




. . . . .all-in-all, my soup was good.
it definitely held-up over the few days it was stored in the ´fridge, too..

..but, Mom, herself, didn't give me an opinion about it.. ..I don't even know what she did with the serving that I meted out for her consumption.


(maybe she was Jealous?

yes?

no?

maybe so?)


not-withstanding-That, i did make note of some things i must do differently, next time; for, if i meet those condition, it should be almost a shoe-in, that my soup can undoubtedly be considered ***da motha↕fuckin' bomb***:


  • use less water: the broth was nice,──don't get me wrong: it was a product far superior to what Mom has been putting out,──but it was still rather dilute..
    ..´not as strong as it could have been


  • use more chicken: i didn't know. sosumi. i did want the stew to be pretty dense with Meat.. ..and it might have been, if i had employed the 4th of 4 Breasts i bought


  • use more vegetables: naw, i mean. you know. i'm a pretty-hard↕core guy(♫-6). i was aiming for an Old School-feeling for this all the way. like This. no one who is in his right mind would ever complain about there being too many chunks of celery, carrots, or onion, b'sides.


i cannot wait to have another go at This, now that i have a better idea of how to approach the fucker; i think, for the next time, i'll use Shells.
(and i will definitely use less water, as i had discovered most of the Chunky Elements were hiding all the way at the bottom of the pot!)
when i tackle Ground Beef & T'mat`r Sauce, i will probably use Shells again...
...but i will also throw in some mozzerella cheese, to mix things up.



at the moment, i'm not interested in Exotic, but, rather, Basic Fare; the rest can fall into place, later.
















(♫-1) (boneless, nearly-skinless, Breast)
(♫-2) (something that was critically-important for me, seeing as This was the area most-often fucked-over by Mother's last several attempts.)
(♫-3) (a trek i could have easily made, except, uh, i had just gotten back in from a long night of Work, and, even if not, she wasn't likely to watch my soup while i was away.)
(♫-4) (that I am aware of.)
(♫-5) (remember what Starch does?)
(♫-6) (l.o.l.)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Strike!

0 Commentaries/Bashings
:-).

´fine by Me.


i'll just watch more You↕Tube, and Pr0ns, in lieu of the Tee↕Vee, until muther↕fuckers get their shit back together again.




it sucks, though, that apparently the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers is so fucking greedy It doesn't even want to give what seems to be just a nominal share of non-traditional_media-profits to the individuals that make The Shit possible in the first place.


l.o.l.


do you realize what an average production would look like if there were no words for an actor to recite or ... a set of Actions scripted for this actor to execute?


it.. ..it would just be a n***er standing around staring blankly, into the camera; looking down to the floor; or, miscellaneously, picking in his Nose, and shit; if you want to get technical about it, that person really would be limited to doing either That, or, exhibiting actions/reactions that are involuntary: an actress, herself, can easily be classified as a writer, even for making up things on The Spot, "unscripted" ─ once she meets That Condition, she is essentially functioning under the capacity of a writer ── albeït a writer who is composing material just for herself in her head ─── setting-up the bases and guidelines for what she(, and, by extension, possibly her cohorts,) does and says specifically for the audience's Intake/Enjoyment.




now, This, of course, is not the same thing as what goes on with true-Reality Programming, where the expectation is that, for the most part,──if not entirely,──nothing may scripted/rehearsed/planned for on-air use for the people you're watching [by a {third-party}]: meaning, no person, who will not be getting filmed, will be getting paid to advise a person on what to do/say: for, once that person makes such directives that the People You Watch are to follow, he must be considered a script-crafter.


(this is how you get to be a writer/director, by-the-by ─ when you have a vision that is so complete, you can not only put It to paper but are also able to orchestrate how It should play out, visually.)


i believe the same thing may be applied to Documentaries..
..the subjects may pre-plan what They want to say to us, but, the autologue generally is limited to Self; not including The Mockumentary, you can't really make up Facts.. ..´just how you choose to present these facts for our consideration.


/digress


what galls me is the fact that there are still actually people who just don't get what the Writers are trying to fight for; ´not a lick of Empathy from the fuckers.


(from what i've observed, the lack of {or unwillingness to employ} Empathy is one of the other main causes of Human Strife.)


to say something like them writers is jus` bein' greedy ´cause they already git paid enuff az It iz is, frankly, fuckin' ignorant and appalling.
──────────>
(writers are to Actors as teachers/Law Enforcement Agents/housekeeping staff/house↕-wives/-husbands are to, uh.. ..[successful] Actors/Base↕Ball- & Foot↕Ball-players/CEOs:


ridiculously-/disproportionately-overpaid fuckers.

income-wise.

credit-wise.)
<──────────
as if you wouldn't be saying the exact-same-thing They are: when you realize that someone is still making money from off'n somethin' you had a pivotal role in crafting..
..but They're not letting you share in the proceeds, (no matter how negligible)...
...presumably, you will propose undertaking some Corrective Actions to fix this over↕sight, yourself.

no matter where your work is being exhibited.

it would be like the Host/Coördinator taking all accolades & kudos given by the people at a Banquet for the food that was served there ... especially when he had lain nary a Finger upon anything in the prep-area: not even the Dijon Ketchup; and then continues to shamelessly accept future benefits of that successful outing without properly-distributing that shit to all those fuckers who were Behind The Scenes.


as a chef, you're not going to ask for every penny generated by the event..
..but, certainly, you will want that Fair Share from it; if the host decides to replicate one of your recipes, for example, i believe you'd be the first to remind Her, hey now, just make sure you tell these people where you got that Tasty Idea from in the first place!.


_\↕/_ _\↕/_


even if writers, individually, get paid a total of A Million Dollars-per-exhibition_of_Work on Television and Theatre Showings, well, let them get paid a few ten-thousands more, if the other players are getting an extra hundred-thousand dollars from the "alternative media"; if you experience Cognitive Dissonance for being paid what you feel is too much for a contribution you believe is seemingly miniscule in importance/exertion, just donate that excess to A Worthy Cause, and don't seek a Tax Write-off for that sum↕bitch.



a matter that should be easy to fix isn't being handled as such.


i'm really not seeing what the problem is ─ if my r'c`lection works properly, a disturbing number of these [successful] [Actors] don't know what to do with all the [millions] they have been paid, anyway: so, why not just redirect 7-10% from the total earnings to the writers, huh? if Shit was good enough, everyone else will still be able to take home a nice pay↕check, at the end of The Work Day.


right?

“the Stockers' Hustle + the MTA's Suckiness”

0 Commentaries/Bashings
y'know..
..i've been meaning to write about the trappings of My Job for quite a while, now.

~↕↕~

oh yes, there will be much Bitching and Cursing in that post: because there are things going on Over There that piss me off...
...and i need to get That Shit from off m` chest.



i also plan to whip-up a little something on the varying-inadequacies of our Public Transport-system: it's like dealing with Baboons over here, getting the bus coaches to arrive ±2-minutes when they're scheduled to; i also don't like having to fear for my Safety while riding select-lines, neither.



so ... look out for These, in the coming weeks.

revisiting The Past.

0 Commentaries/Bashings
before i forget ... i just want to mention that, on the 6th of This Month, i got together with That Guy i mentioned to you from a few weeks ago, once again. ☺; and i actually broke a sweat, this time around..

..so i guess i was taking this particular session more seriously.




heh.




the most-noteworthy_thing i can think of to share with you about our latest rendezvous is, This [Gentleman] really seems to like gripping heads and fucking faces!

jesus h. christ.

he actually made my head involuntarily bob back`n´forth for a few seconds after he, uh, "got through with me."
──────────>
(if he hadn't been so piggish he coulda actually unloaded in my mouth(♫) instead of on The Carpet {yet again} but i needed to catch my god↕damn breath at some point-in-time so i reck'n he lost out on that opportunity now didn't he?)
<──────────
and you know i am going to have to pay his ass back for This, suffice to say: me giving him The Pearl Necklace when it was My Turn just wasn't enough..


..´next time, i might have to leave him with a sore ass.
and a Gullet full of My Sticky Stuff.














(♫) (before you get any Ideas, i want to remind you that i am definitely a Spitter and not a Swallower; additionally, it is a seemingly-rare event when i allow someone to jizz in m` mouth, in the first place.)

these are a few of my [????] things.

0 Commentaries/Bashings
Spontaneous Combustion: what apparently happens to someone when he tries to make an exit as if he were a Ninja


Old Timer's Disease: when you acquire Alzheimer's in the ghetto


Electronically-transmitted Diseases: your computer has Vaginosis ─ there are worms everywhere. :-\.


"Euripides: Eumenides!": one of the most gangster-Puns around


Trans Fats: :-\. an oft-misunderstood Lipid that just wants to live its life without having people make fun of It for wanting to dres──oh.

wait.

that's not what It is?

my bad.


Trans Fats: the primary reason that Food used to taste good


Homophones: that ain't cool, the fact that we got actual Parts of Speech discriminating agains──?

uh..

..☺.

(i need to put that Tequila down, i think. . . . .)


Monotonous Relationship: a relationship where two people are sexually-exclusive only to each other


Viagra: spanish for allows Old Men to get and throw a bone..
..and contract Electronically-transmittable Diseases.

:-(


Beer Goggles: "the only means through which some people could ever get laid, i am afraid"

*cough↕ricksantorum↕cough*


Dumb Ass: George W. Bush


"heron": ´not a Great Lake but, actually, a substance that you may snort or inject, intravenously, if you live in Baltimore City


The Jungle: how you may, correctly, describe the pubic hair of an average_Heterosexual-identified [Gentleman]'s


beautiful faces are a dime a dozen; a beautiful mind is but one in a million: something that just Came To Me, earlier this afternoon...


Wal-Mart: french for, a great place to get your Lead Paint fix, all while supporting Gay Discrimination, Worker Abuse, and Monopolization/Small Business-screwing

Targèt: french for, a great place to buy some Timberlake Boots and Nikó Tennis!

the Salt Mines: another name that may be given for a heterosexually-identified_male's Private Parts.



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