the Fighters' History. (2 of ?)

<shrug>

Tiger / Bird / Dragon / Snake Ox / Horse / Dog / Boar Rabbit / Tiger / Monkey / Rat

ninpou: ***shi no tousho no bun hanketsu***

~↕↕~

nights like Tonight make me sad: it's tough being lonely.

i only want to be with a [guy] with whom i can just walk around [the city], right by [his] side, ([his] affection for me overwhelmingly-evident yet at the same time profoundly-calming), and enjoy this nice cool air, and enjoy the sight of all the lights which illuminate the sky. . .


this makes me feel good.)


then after we finish taking that mystic wonder in, (tired in a good way), we go back [home], lie on a couch together, embracing, and merely watching television...

...the warmth, and sensual pleasure of our bodies having been against the other..

..eventually inciting us to partake of an even-more intimate experience...

(the person i'm doing this with doesn't even have to be [{a} boy]friend — [he] can just be a regular friend who i have such chemistry with.)

------

but i don't [{believe} i] have anyone in my life like that.


(the one person who was closest to helping me realize this ideal ..... well, a few weeks ago, it seems he decided he should merely drop himself from out of my life without warning {instead of dealing with all the things i told him in my last <correspondence>}.


maybe this will be for the best.


for, even if he decides to "come back to me": if he tries to return, acting as if nothing had happened {especially if the first thing he does is proposition me}, then i will certainly have some other Choice Words for him to digest: i might be lonely, but i'm not desperate.

if he doesn't like that, either, then he may feel free to take his business elsewhere, for the rest of our lives; and he can keep me in mind, as he encounters real difficulties and "irrational behaviours" presented by the other people he will attempt forging relationships with.

{there's a reason his last couple of stabs at monogamy hadn't panned out, y'know.})

------

nights like These make me sad, now: it doesn't matter how much tough talk i employ Here, and elsewhere: i still have mother↕fucking feelings, god↕damn↕it.


hmph.


as if i will actually let these monsters trample over my already profoundly-vulnerable Heart..

======

it wasn't until 10-years ago that i learned some people did not appreciate the existence (and implementation) of Affirmative Action: proclaiming that it lead to Ironic Discrimination, amongst other gripes.

reading through my sociology book (acquired back when i was at the Antioch College, in ohio) this morning on the bus on my way home, a thought struck me:

Affirmative Action was not designed to arbitrarily give jobs to less-qualified Candidates of Colour [for mere fulfillments of Quotas]; rather, it was crafted to ensure Jobs aren't arbitrarily given to only white candidates, irregarding their level of suitability.

i suspect that, maybe, more-than-a-few-of these white hiring managers did "this" intentionally: misapplying Affirmative Action, during its infancy, so that other whites (who weren't in the know) might eventually have something to complain about later — if no qualified Candidate of Colour has applied for a given position then, simply, do not take on any of the others who had inquired ── this Pity Hiring will only serve to drag your company down, in the long run ─── especially if the sum↕bitch does not show a willingness for, or evinces a capability of, Improvement.

...

however, this is not what happened; for fear of the consequences that would come from not fulfilling that Quota, crappier-personnel were added to Company Ranks — i've witnessed this phenomenon with my own eyes.



you see?

this was a misapplication of that otherwise honourable-concept.

and i cannot condone it.



obviously Prejudice and Discrimination are quite-Alive_and_Well; with all these technological "improvements," the sustaining and proliferation of That has only gotten easier:

you fools.

for believing that the mere signing of some “Civil Rights Act” equated the instant and permanent eradication of these tainted thoughts and feelings from [peoples'] Minds and Hearts.



</digress>



we still need Affirmative Action; we do not need this Aide abused and tarnished.

...

but it cannot be lain all on Businesses to find suitable-non_whites to fill vacancies; even if they go out of their way by recruiting in places where non-whites are in the majority..
..i still insist that it is never appropriate to just snatch up any old Token for Appearances' Sake.

(don't give whites a reason to continue proclaiming, oh look at that Monkey trying to operate a computer why´on't they just send her back to [the jungle] where she belongs?!.

for whatever reasons, these racist, pussy↕suckin' bastards merely find it easier to turn a blind eye to all the technical abilities and accomplishments of other peoples of colour.)

if only 34 out of 10,000 of the "others" have the skills needed, then whose responsibility is it to ensure that That Figure is ameliorated?

======

so, in my area, most gas prices seem to be below $3.50/gallon.

...

big fuckin' whoop.

for starters, that's still too much, for us in the United States; secondly, i believe it is only a matter of time before a surge (and a sharp one, at that) resumes.


so, i'm not going to celebrate shit.

======

ego.

an extension of the deadly sin, Pride.

i hadn't realized, until recently, just how much damage this does us.

just think about it.