before i went to bed last night, i demanded my subconscience to stop making [sexually-oriented] dreams about a specific person who was in my life from way back in my child↕hood.
i long-ago tired of encountering him there in such a way, so many times a month, for all these years.
(i am telling my subconscience now to employ his image in a more constructive manner, in our future.)
for many reasons, i was never intimate with that guy.
(for many other reasons, i will not ever be intimate with him.)
(it might be one of my subconscience's greatest regrets, that such is the case.
i did have A Bond with this person, after all.
but it's just going to have to get over that.)
cloyingly, my subconscience only rarely allowed me, (or whosever perspective it was i had been assuming), [to enjoy] the briefest of moments of actual contact with him.
when it wasn't "regalying" me as such, my S.C. was:
• letting the other "interested party" (who, in real life, ostensibly had more rights to him than , anyway) either intercede or interrupt before i could enjoy his naked form
• always lining it up so that The Good Part would, almost without fail, coïncide with my ever-vigilant Conscious's determining that it absolutely had to wake me up because of my body's wanting to execute a specific Biological Function.
you might be able to guess at some of the reasons i had desired all of this teasing stop.
i honestly have no use for that.
thus far, my range of Dream Subjects has been pretty limited.
not-withstanding-that, there are some things i wish for my Inner Recess to leave alone.
nothing can come of its semi-perpetual_prodding at that sore spot, besides leaving me with more frustration and anger.
(i would have presumed i was above letting the content of my brain's Slumber Movies be influenced by the status of my bladder, at the very least.)
my sub-conscience had prepared a few "select" rebuttals for my own consideration, too, yesterday morning (i started this entry late sunday night and it is now monday morning, by-the-way).
i had three seperate dreams.
if memory serves, all dreams had a dog as a recurring main star.
the most memorable was the portion of one of these vignettes where this particular dog (owned by another guy who i "know") had actually chomped down on my testicles (i think, because, i had been fucking with it), thereby forcing My Conscious to do its own intervening.
that sequence was realistic enough for my conscience to actually believe the injury was inflicted.
when i performed a standard Mind/Eye Scan of the affected area, i hadn't noted remnants or traces of anything that might have happened there which should have influenced my dream in such a way.
as we can see, my S.C. has jokes of its own.
but that's cool.
i believe i might be able to bend it to my will, some more.
those dreams where i levitate or fly (using chi) are always nice.
especially when i combine those powers with some of my fancy foote↕worke.